Steve Boyd's
Communications Newsletter
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December 2006
'Tis The Season
"'Tis the season to be jolly!" During this time of year, we hear language presented in its most positive and optimistic terms: "Happy Holidays," "Peace," "Merry Christmas," "Happy New Year," and more. As communicators, we are most effective when we keep our words positive.
Sometimes positive language can be used humorously to point out someone's error. For example, an elderly lady who was flying to her daughter's for Christmas had just endured an extremely rough landing. As she exited the plane, she said sweetly to the pilot, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
We see this positive spirit in the songs of the season. "Joy to the World," "Deck the Halls," "Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas," and "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" all give us a lift. And then there are the fun Christmas songs, such as "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer," "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," and "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth," which can make us smile in spite of the rushed nature of the season.
"Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is a great example of reframing, an important strategy for any communicator. Rudolph was embarrassed and ridiculed for his unusual nose, but Santa turned life around for him by making his nose a positive. As speakers, we can turn difficult situations into positive ones with our sense of humor. For example, if you keep stammering and stumbling over words, you can pause and say, "Well! Last week I got my glasses fixed and now my tongue doesn't work!"
At one of my speeches, various people thought they needed to offer assistance in areas I was willing to ignore. Two gentlemen fiddled with the speaker system. When I touched "B" to blank my PowerPoint screen, a kind woman thought my projector had failed and came up to try to fix it. Some servers came up and started clearing a table right in front of me. Later, when I was telling about the situation, I said, "I've never been at a church service where this many people came forward!" I'll be ready with that line the next time I have too many helpers.
"What Happens When the Lights Go Out," in The Sales Coach II, gives several other entertaining examples of handling difficult situations.
During this season, we see a happier spirit in the people we meet. When I worked in retail, I found that people were kinder and more understanding during December shopping—until after the 25th, at least. Funny what a difference one day can make when people head for those after-Christmas sales.
This spirit is reflected in the many stories of wars temporarily suspended due to Christmas. The Christmas Truce of 1914 is widely known—when the meeting of enemies as friends in the area between the forces was experienced by hundreds and perhaps thousands of troops. It was a spontaneous response by lonely soldiers who yearned for peace and enjoyed it for that one day—Christmas. The awkward yet positive communication of that day is still remembered though the participants are long gone.
As you communicate with loved ones or strangers during this season, enjoy the positive spirits around you, reframe when necessary, capitalize on your sense of humor, and take this time to suspend hostilities. Communicate positively and that attitude will be bountifully returned to you.
©2006 Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP
About the Author
 Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is a professor of speech communication at Northern Kentucky University in Highland Heights, Kentucky. He works with organizations that want to speak and listen more effectively to increase personal and professional performance. He can be reached at 800-727-6520 or visit sboyd.com for valuable articles and resources to improve your communication skills
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