In the word listen are the same letters that make up the word silent. This is a powerful indication that silence is an important part of listening more effectively. If we learn the skill of silence, we also have improved our listening. Let me illustrate that by providing silence-enhancing techniques.

Be the fourth person to speak in a meeting. When in a meeting, don’t be one of the first to give a comment. If you wait to be at least the fourth person to speak, you will have a better understanding of the context of the situation. You can then make better contributions to the issue being discussed. Being silent at first gives you added information. Hearing other people speak gives you a better sense of what to say and when to say it. You receive this benefit when you wait to be the fourth speaker.

Pause before you give feedback. Often, when listening, we can’t wait to speak. Our goal should be instead to pause three seconds before responding. Count mentally "one thousand one," "One thousand two," "One thousand three" and then speak. This encourages the other person to give you more and often the best information. It also lets the other person know that what he or she is saying is important to you. Also, if you pause a few seconds, the quality of your feedback will improve because you have had time to give more thought before speaking.

Embrace periods of silence. There are people who can’t stand silence and will talk just to fill the silent times. Going on a long automobile trip with someone who cannot stand silence can make for a very challenging ride. Seek instead to embrace silence; savor it and encourage it among people around you. For example, when you ask a question and no one responds; don’t give your own answer quickly. Wait people out. Let the silence linger. This encourages thinking and pondering and models the skill of silence in listening.

Practice silence on your own by spending 15 minutes a day in private meditation. Personal quiet time reinforces the value of silence. It helps you learn the self-discipline of being quiet instead of talking when in a meeting or having a conversation with a colleague.

A way of showing respect for someone else is to be silent. We have a moment of silence at a public event when a famous person dies. We are silent in a sanctuary of a religious edifice. We are silent at a significant moment such as when the Pope’s death was announced. We also show respect for the person talking by remaining silent—and listening before speaking.

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Unlike reading, where you can go back over the material as many times as you need to, speech content has to be instantly clear. Your audience member does not have a chance to go back over the material in order to absorb the information. So how does the speaker compensate for this problem? The answer is the topic of this article.

Say the idea or word distinctly and with enthusiasm. This insures that the listener hears and is likely to be paying attention. Don’t mumble when clarity is critical to understanding. Pause and then give a definition or explanation.

Finish the information with an example. When I’m talking about serendipity, I might say, "I’m sure we have all experienced serendipity. We have enjoyed the pleasant feeling resulting when good things happen by accident. Just this week, I went to pick up my reserved, mid-sized car at the National Rental Car booth in Toronto. The lady said all they had available at that time was a specialty car—the PT Cruiser. She said I had the option of waiting a few minutes to get the normal midsized car. I had never driven the PT Cruiser and had wondered how they would drive. So I said I’d take it, and the next day I tooled around in a purple PT Cruiser! I experienced serendipity at the National Rental Car booth."

Notice that I began with the definition of serendipity. Then I gave my example. After I finished the example, I said the term again to remind the audience of the concept.

Thus you are giving the listener a minimum of three times to assimilate the information in a comfortable and interesting manner. Repetition is vital to learning, but this approach is less tedious than simply repeating the information several times. You are reinforcing the information but in an interesting and thought-provoking way.

The key, of course, is to know your audience well enough to determine when you need to use this system to help the audience listen and understand new information. If you go through this elaborate explanation about a term the group already understands, your credibility suffers. You may even offend by assuming they are uninformed when that is not the case.

Making sure audiences understand is one of the challenges of any speaker. This system of careful enunciation, explanation, and example is one way of insuring the audience’s assimilation of new material.