Interrupting Is Not Necessarily Rude!

When a person is talking to us, we usually consider interrupting him or her as rude and inappropriate. But there are times when it is OK and, in fact, quite suitable. For example, if you do not get the person’s name when introduced, get the name before you continue the conversation. Say, "Excuse me; please give me your name again." This will compliment the person instead being insulting because it shows you really want to know him or her.

Another time to interrupt is if you don’t understand a word the person says. Then you can interrupt and ask for a definition. "Excuse me. I’m not familiar with that word. Would you explain it to me?" It is a waste of time for both of you if you do not know the definition of a key word in the conversation. Asking for the definition might also help the other person give you more explanation to increase your understanding.

Some people have a hard time being concise and direct in conversation. If the point is unclear, it is appropriate to interrupt gently and say, "Excuse me, I want to make sure I’m getting your point. What I hear you saying is…." This is a sensitive situation, but when done kindly can help the overall quality of the conversation.

A person may start a conversation with you when you are expecting a phone call or have a meeting soon. Maybe you are having a hard time concentrating, so you can interrupt and say, "I’m having a hard time concentrating because I’m expecting a phone call. Let’s have this conversation at.…" If you don’t stop the person, he or she might think you are uninterested because you are fidgeting and perhaps stealing a glance at your watch. Thus you show your concern for the person and your interrupting eliminates the possibility of losing credibility in the eyes of the other person.

Finally, don’t be afraid to interrupt if the topic is confidential or inappropriate for the situation you are in. People sometimes may not appreciate the hidden agenda or the culture of the occasion and be oblivious to the impact of what he or she is saying. You might say, "I’m sorry, but I think this topic would best be discussed at a later date," or "Why don’t we go to a more private area to discuss this?"

I’m certainly not condoning interrupting as a common conversation technique, but under special conditions such as the ones mentioned in this article, interrupting can be a conversation enhancement.

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Special Speeches

Special or ceremonial speeches are presentations that most of us will be called upon to deliver at some time. They include eulogies, introductions, presentations of awards, welcomes, and toasts. But even though they are delivered for different purposes, there are traits common to all special speeches.

The first of these traits is that you should always mention your connection to the person or event. There is usually a reason why you are giving the speech, and this should be included in your remarks. This provides continuity to the program and helps audience members feel more comfortable.

Second, all of these speeches should be short. Usually there are other people and activities on the agenda, and you should keep your remarks brief. Around a minute and a half for a toast and up to five minutes to eulogize a person would be appropriate.

Third, keep your remarks upbeat and positive. You are there to inspire, affirm, inform, and prepare the audience for what is to follow. Help the audience anticipate what happens next.

Fourth, these are speeches where a manuscript is almost mandatory. Often the special speech is memorable to the people involved and you want to say just the right word or sentence. In addition, copies of the speech might be asked for by interested audience members. Some of these special speeches create high emotion, and your memory might not work as well under these conditions. The manuscript can help you avoid memory blocks.

In the first few sentences of any of these speeches, tell the audience what your purpose is. For example, you might say, "I’m here tonight to welcome you to …," or "We are here to remember the life and influence of …," or "I’m delighted to be the presenter of this award on this special occasion." This is not the time to talk about the weather or what a beautiful day it has been.

Finally, the ending should mention the person or event being honored. Use a simple line such as, "I’m delighted to present this award to…," or "With these affirmations, we toast you …," or "We welcome you Rotarians to the city of Cincinnati."

Use these commonalities in your preparation and you will deliver an effective ceremonial speech.

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