One of the reasons we don’t enjoy meetings is that they are often conducted poorly. As our number of meetings increases, effective facilitation skills are essential.

Facilitating a meeting requires the ability to follow an agenda that keeps the group on the subject and encourages all members to participate freely. This is accomplished by having the group talk about the issues in an orderly and congenial fashion without one or two people dominating the discussion.

There are some mechanical concerns in facilitating a meeting. Everyone needs a copy of the agenda for the meeting. If possible, participants should have the agenda a day in advance to prepare relevant and cogent comments. The meeting needs to start and end on time. The length of the meeting should be announced at the beginning. The facilitator may set the maximum length of time any issue will be discussed. The meeting should be conducted in a comfortable environment—well-lighted with a properly controlled temperature. With these basics in place, everyone will be more alert to participate.

The facilitator must listen more than he or she speaks. If that is not the case, more consideration should be given to questioning techniques. Ask why, how, or what questions. Facilitation is not taking place if the moderator or leader is lecturing or giving his or her opinion most of the time. The goal is to encourage everyone to speak, and the facilitator must be quiet a majority of the time for that to happen.

The discussion leader must be able to summarize the progress of the discussion from time to time to keep it on track. As people are talking, assimilating information in order to summarize is important. Thus the facilitator cannot be easily distracted from the topic under discussion.

The facilitator must not take sides. He or she has the responsibility to keep the discussion moving forward and ideally to reach consensus on the topic at hand. Saying encouraging things and being nonjudgmental are essential in accomplishing this task.

The facilitator must look and act interested in the comments of everyone. Encouraging questions and comments with a pleasant demeanor throughout the meeting is vital. Short periods of silence during discussion should not be feared. Often that is a sign that people are pondering carefully what has been said.

We may never actually enjoy meetings, but if the facilitator does his or her job well, meetings can be both efficient and beneficial.

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People decide how they feel about you in the first few seconds of conversation. You want to make a good first impression. Here are some ways to do it.

Begin with a smile. The most desirable trait of nonverbal is pleasantness, and a smile is the quickest way of demonstrating that characteristic. Practice your smile in front of a mirror. Picture a pleasant conversation with the person as you meet.

Determine eye color. This will make you connect with the person immediately. From the other person’s point of view, you will look very interested. Good eye contact is a visual handshake. As you meet the person, a firm handshake and direct eye contact will make a quick and sincere connection.

Mirror the other person’s nonverbal without giving the appearance of mimicking him or her. People relate quickly to those who are similar to themselves. If a person uses lots of gestures, do the same. Listen to the volume of the other person and match it.

Be nonverbally open. Don’t cross your arms or hold your hands behind your back. Make gestures that will include the person. Gesture toward the person. Don’t point. Be between four to seven feet apart when beginning the conversation. In the American culture, less than four feet will make the person feel uncomfortable.

Pause when the other person finishes his or her comment and look expectant. This will demonstrate that you are interested in what the other person is saying, immediately creating a positive connection.

Ask an open question to show another way in which you are interested in what the person feels or thinks. Develop questions that begin with what or why or how. This will make you not only a good listener, but also a great conversationalist in the eyes of the other person. Just one question is sufficient. If you ask three or four in a row, the person may feel he or she is being interrogated.

Finally, be you. Relax. Don’t try too hard to be liked. Show a genuine interest in the other person and let the conversation flow naturally. Use your own personal style. These simple people skills will help you to give a positive first impression. After that, the relationship is up to you!

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