Don’t Finish the Sentence

Because we can think over four times faster than we can talk, we have a tendency to interrupt the person talking and finish sentences for him or her. It says, "What you are wanting to say is so obvious that I don’t understand why you don’t just spit it out! Here—I can do it for you."

Sometimes, our thoughts come rushing out and we’ve interrupted the person with our own ideas. This is not only disrespectful, but also shows that you think what you have to say is more important than what the other person is saying.

Neither of these situations sends a positive message to those talking. How can we improve our interpersonal relationships by not interrupting or finishing sentences for others?

First, determine to stay with the main idea of the other person’s conversation. Look for ways the talker illustrates or explains the point. This mental exercise will help you concentrate on the other person and thus you are less likely to interrupt. Summarize silently.

Second, listen as though you will ask a question. Even if you don’t get to ask it, concentrating on assimilating the talker’s information in order to ask a question will make it easier not to interrupt.

Finally, choose an "interruption-free trigger" that you can hold onto as you listen. Make for yourself the rule that as long as you have a certain pen or paper weight in your hand, you will not say a word. You can speak only when you lay down the pen or take your hand off the paperweight or other object. After doing this a few times, you will have developed the good habit of no longer interrupting and finishing other people’s sentences.

I read a story years ago about the Gold and Stock Telegraph Company wanting to buy Thomas Edison’s improved stock ticker invention. The sales person asked how much he wanted for it. Edison asked if he could talk it over with his wife. The two of them agreed that he should ask $5,000, though he thought he could accept $3000. Then Edison met with the salesman the second time. When the man repeated his question, Edison started to answer, but thinking that $5,000 was too much, hesitated before finishing his sentence. The salesman was impatient and jumped in with "How about $40,000?" Whether the story is true or not, it does illustrate the value of waiting until the talker has finished speaking before you respond.

Return to top

Getting Audience Members Involved

If the speaker asks enough questions, eventually the audience may warm up and respond. But how do you motivate them to answer questions from the beginning?

Begin with non-threatening, easily answered questions that require a physical response, such as questions that require only raising a hand to answer. You might ask how many people are from a state near where you are speaking, or how many have small children. Raise your hand when you ask for a show of hands and that will also encourage people to more easily respond.

Have a look of expectation when you ask a question: take a step away from the lectern and toward the audience. Pan as you ask the question. Make eye contact with as many people as you can. When possible, make audience members feel as though you are asking them in a personal way. They will then feel more obligated to respond.

As you move beyond yes and no questions, go from simple to complex. Perhaps include fill-in-the-blank questions next. Pause expectantly, looking at people directly. After they are in a responsive frame of mind, you can proceed to questions with more complicated answers.

Affirm any question you receive. Don’t intimidate an audience by evaluating questions with ‘That’s a great question." You’ve set the standard too high and may inhibit the audience from asking more questions because they may feel they can’t ask a "great question." Make everyone feel equal by saying, "Thanks for asking that question," or "I appreciate that question." You affirm without intimidating.

When you do get a question, look at everyone as you answer the question. All will feel included and will continue to be involved in the discussion.

Especially in informational presentations, getting audience members to answer questions is vital to knowing how well you are helping them understand.