A problem for many speakers is using too many notes or not using them well. Audience members have a hard time paying attention when the speaker is looking down at his or her paper. Perfectly good speech content loses its impact when the speaker is bound to notes.

Here are some suggestions on how to use notes so that to the speaker they are an aid and not a crutch.

Do not write out your speech word for word! The only time this is acceptable is if you could be misquoted or you have a highly technical speech. If you write out your speech you tend to read it or memorize the words instead of the thought the words are communicating. Instead use key words—or trigger words--as your outline. The note should "trigger" your next thought.

I prefer note cards. Leave lots of space between lines and make your script legible. If you stumble over words or phrases and the note does not trigger the next thought, you should rework your outline. Train yourself to look down at notes as you are finishing one thought and moving on to the next one. This helps you to break at the ends of thoughts or sentences instead of in the middle of an idea. Sheets of paper are flimsy and hard to manage. If you do use sheets of paper, a way for them to be more manageable is to put them in a sheet protector with a dark construction paper backing. These are available in most office supply stores.

Practice with the notes you will use in your speech. When you do this you will become familiar with the notes on the cards and recognize easily where you are when you glance down.

It is appropriate to use your notes as part of your delivery—especially when you know you will need them more frequently for a particular part of your speech. Gesture with them; don’t try to hide them or act like you do not have notes. The audience will notice either way, so plan to reveal rather than conceal them. You could color code your notes. Have one color for main points and another color for sub points—and still another color for quotations and statistics.

When you use these techniques, audience members will not even think about your notes because they will be such a natural part of your delivery.

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Meeting someone for the first time can be awkward. Yet the first two minutes can determine the future of the relationship. Here are some ways to make those first two minutes count.

Your first concern as you shake hands is to get the name. Forget about the content of the conversation until you know the person’s name and how to pronounce it. Always repeat the name as soon as you hear it. This lets the other person know you are listening from the opening words and insures that you have the correct pronunciation. Lanita sometimes says, "It’s Anita with an L," and that helps people clearly understand an unusual name.

Smile, make eye contact, and look pleasant as you begin the conversation. Look at the person’s eyes until you determine the color. That is long enough to get the name and also will give you enough time to make eye contact without staring. Pleasantness goes a long way in making a connection with person. In private, check out your greeting smile in the mirror. What you think is a smile may appear to be a grimace or a smirk to the new person you are meeting; practice the smile.

Ask an open question. Yes or no questions can easily seem like an interrogation. Open questions would be, "What brings you to Cincinnati?" Or "How was your trip here?" Open questions usually have the word "What?" "Why?" or "How?" in them.

Find something in common with the person. Your question could possibly secure that information. If not, ask about where they grew up or what their major was in school. What brings the two of you to meet could be the basis of your commonality, such as a professional meeting or a community organization meeting.

Share something personal, especially if it connects to what they said. For example, "So you’re from Houston! One of our favorite family vacations was visiting relatives there," is sufficient. Don’t go into a long story, but say just enough to make the connection. If they want to know more they will indicate so. Self-disclosure is one of the best ways to initiate a trust level that can lead to a fruitful conversation. Referring to your children or something your child or spouse recently said are examples. If you disclose, the other person will be inclined to do the same.

You certainly don’t want to structure a conversation too much. Perhaps some of these suggestions will occur naturally. Remembering to include these suggestions can insure that people will consider you a good conversationalist and will want to talk to you again.